Trying

My head has been swimming with thoughts and ideas and a list as long as my arm of things that need to be done. Sometimes, I feel peace in my small home. Other days, not so much. This week the laundry needs put away, and more needs to be done.

The dishes are piling high, and need done. Also, we've brought a load of belongings to sort and deal with from our storage unit and they are blocking the couch. I feel nothing but low-key anxiety when I look at or think about all that needs to be done.

There is no relaxing in those times. Days like this are the reason the Lord gives us a day to prepare our homes and our hearts to rest, because busy homes like busy hearts and minds lead to a jittery anxiety and not to the rest that He knows we all need. All we need do is take what He has given us and rejoice in His goodness.

My first post was actually written last year, but I updated it and edited it before I published the site. Still, it feels more like this is my first blog post of the year, and honestly the dates on the blogs would agree. This blog is going to function for me in many ways; to make myself write more, as a way to get my thoughts out, and also as a mechanism to get me on a schedule. Time management is much more difficult for me than for most.

I suppose I should tell you a little more about myself and my family. For the last three years, my husband and I have been dealing with health issues and getting back on our feet financially after a big move, while living in close quarters with family. In September, we moved from renting a room in my mother-in-law's home, to renting a space on their property for our very own 5th-wheel camper.

Two weeks after we moved our camper to the property, our Yorkie went missing while we were at work, and he was missing for 2 months before someone who had found him contacted us. Needless to say, chip your pets. He could have been home so much sooner if we had had him micro-chipped. During that time, I learned that the grieving process for a pet can be and is often extremely more severe than for another person. The reason being, of course, that pets love is unconditional, and that loss just hits different. Of course, if you're not an animal person, then a pet going missing might just be a "meh" experience. No judgement, everyone experiences things differently from each other. If we didn't then we might all get along a lot more easily, but we'd probably all just be the same person.

My hubby and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary in November. We also celebrated our 9th dating anniversary that very same month. For Christmas break, we were able to go south to see my mom and niece. Then for the day of Christmas my hubby's three siblings and their spouses and children all gathered for the first time in quite a while. It was the most fun I have ever had with his family. I got to bond with many people and just grow relationships. That's my favorite part of life, growing relationships.

WORDS WORDS WORDS

I was going to delete the above "title", but I think I want to be pretty transparent here. Clearly, I had no idea what to write and my anxiety was high. I have such dreams and aspirations, but no idea how to follow through.

Literally less than a minute after typing that I want to be transparent, I am sitting here trying to figure out how to hide my age. I am a hot mess, that's for sure.

I graduated high school in 2003, but I didn't start college until 2009, and technically I am still not done with my degree. I went full time the first semester, but I was also working full time and it didn't really work out for me. So, I switched to less classes over a longer period of time, while still working full time. It was a lot and I did okay, but I got to a point where I would have had to fly from FL to NH to take a math assessment and I couldn't afford that, so I just stopped going in 2013.

Then I got married and the idea of going back to school sounded exhausting. Ten years later, I am finally trying to get everything together so that I can finish my AA, possibly my AS, and then move on to a BA or BS. Possibly in Education, definitely in Biblical Studies.

I work at an elementary school helping out with Phonics and subbing and basic math skills. I don't know if I want to teach, but I know I love children and I love Jesus, so it just makes sense to study both.

I think that is enough rambling. More on the next blog. This will be an adventure of figuring out what I am doing and getting it done. Hopefully I have some semblance of a plan for the next one! Until then enjoy the prayer below.

As my head rests on my pillow,

let my soul rest in Your mercy.

As my limbs relax on my mattress,

let my soul relax in Your peace.

As my body finds warmth beneath blankets,

let my soul find warmth in Your love.

As my mind is filled with dreams,

let my soul be filled with visions of Your Heaven.

Amen.

-Johann Freylinghausen (1670-1739)